Reactions
by MoshiMoshiQueen
Summary: I ignored it. I denied it. I made myself forget about it. I punished myself because of it. I accepted it. I'm okay with it. I am bi. Naruto finally gets up the courage to tell his friends and family that not only is he bi, but he's also dating Sasuke.


**A/N: **I've been playing around with a lot of different plots for some Naruto fics, but I just haven't published them. This really is one of my favorite 'babies'. I'm pretty proud of it because it's kind of personal.

**Warnings:** Yaoi. I just love it so.

**Pairings:** At the moment only Sasu/Naru

**Disclaimer:** Yeah, yeah. I don't own Naruto.

**Inspirational Songs:** It's My Time to Fly by The Urge and World on Fire by Sarah McLachlan

**Reactions**

**By MoshiMoshiQueen **

**Beta Reader: Eclipsed Oblivion**

"**Characters' Conversations"**

**(Author's Comments)**

When I'm nine I start to have these feelings… I find myself looking at other guys on the television. I feel my gaze wandering over their bodies. It makes me feel a little bit sick. Even at this age it feels wrong. I have been told that little boys like little girls.

I've had a few crushes on the girls in my class. I've teased them and pushed them around on the playground, but still…I find myself watching the men on TV.

I ignore this feeling. I've been ignoring it for so long that it's not even an issue anymore. I practically forget it.

But, when I'm twelve it comes up again. This is most likely a phase. It's the hormones. I am growing up and everything is changing so fast. I shouldn't mention it because what if next year the feelings are gone? I will never be able to take the words back.

I start to explore my body. I learn about release. I am taught about porn. My friends and I look over magazines. I ogle over boobs. I am attracted to the hot girls in the magazine, so this must mean something.

When I am fourteen I crush on a bunch of girls and this feels normal to me. This feels fine. I am attracted to them. I love the way they look and the way they kiss. Still, there is that feeling in my stomach. A feeling I desperately try to ignore and I don't know why. It's not like anyone would care…or would they? Is it fear that is holding me back?

At sixteen I just want to be normal. I just want to be like everyone else. I don't even know who I truly am. I am still searching and I don't want to be labeled. I don't want the stigmas attached to me. I don't want people to feel uncomfortable around me. I don't want my friends to look at me differently. I want to continue playing sports…continuing being a star and a playmaker.

The feelings have always been there, but I deny it, I bury it and I ignore it. I find myself looking at certain parts of a male's anatomy and my stomach flutters. Still I ignore it. I deny it.

I see how they treat the gay kids. I know it's wrong, but I make fun of them too. I laugh when people call them queers, but secretly I admire them for standing up and admitting their feelings to the world.

At twenty I've finally figured out who I am and my personality is stable…this is when the shit really hits the fan.

I mean…it's not everyday that you figure out you're bi. It's like a hit and run to your heart. First the pain suffocates you, then the confusion sets in, and now you have to deal with the aftermath. Once it really sinks in you feel like you don't even know yourself anymore…because you always knew yourself as a straight guy and now your sexuality isn't so cut and dry anymore. You feel like you have to redefine yourself and your life. Are you even the same person anymore?

I just take it one day at a time. I first admit it in my head. Yes, I am bi. It makes me swallow harshly. I am bi. I am attracted to males and females. It makes me feel kind of relieved because at least I'm not gay. I don't think I'd be able to handle it if I was. It would be too much. At least here is still a chance I will end up with a girl…then no one would ever have to know. I'd never have to share that part of me.

I can finally say it out loud (to myself, while you are alone and very quietly). I am bi. It's a start. My mouth has formed the words. It's vibrated against my throat and come out as a sound.

Later I start to say it louder and nod my head. Yup, I'm bi. It's really not a big deal. It doesn't hurt to admit it anymore. It doesn't burn and my body doesn't seize up. I practically want to shrug my shoulders and say "so what? I'm bi. Whatever."

When I am at the movies it doesn't bother me that I think some of the male actors are hot. I feel myself drool a bit and it feels okay. It feels great. I don't hide my feelings from myself anymore. It doesn't matter if I think Megan Fox AND Shia Laboef are hot. I'd do them both and it doesn't bother me.

I really start to feel comfortable with the idea. It becomes a normal part of my world. It is something that is a part of my soul. It doesn't define who I am. I am not my labels. It's as easy as breathing now. I am bi. I think that men and women are equally hot. It makes me smile and laugh. I went through so much torment to get to this point.

I ignored it. I denied it. I made myself forget about it. I punished myself because of it. I accepted it. I am okay with it. I am bi.

I still keep it to myself though. Why do I have to let people know? It's not even relevant. It's not like I'm attracted to any guy I know. It's not like I want to be in a relationship with anyone, period.

Why stir things up when this information isn't even relevant? Still, it kind of eats me up inside. I want to tell my best friend, but I don't know how she will react. By not admitting it out loud to my closest friends I feel like I'm denying a piece of myself.

Maybe I am still fearful. But, really that doesn't matter. I am finally at an age where I understand that if people don't accept me for whom I am then they were never my friends to begin with. I am past the drama years. I do not crave acceptance any more. So maybe it isn't fear…what is it then? Why can't I just tell my best friend?

Maybe I don't crave acceptance, but I still don't want to feel pain. I don't really want to go through rejection.

I don't want them to feel betrayed. It's not like I've kept this a secret from them. I just didn't understand it myself until now and I wasn't ready to admit it to myself until now. I also don't want to explain myself. It's not something I question or have a deep conversation about. I just am who I am.

I don't want them to treat me differently. I don't want them to be afraid of talking about certain things around me.

I don't really want to be representation of all bi people either. I don't want to be the advocate or the representative. I just want to be myself.

And my parents…maybe they are the worst part. How do I begin to explain to them that their little boy goes both ways? It really makes me shake your head. I just can't do it. Not only am I an only child, but also my family expects me to pass on the Uzumaki name.

I don't think they would reject me. They just wouldn't understand me. They wouldn't know who I am anymore. It would be like I transformed into a different person.

I could probably tell my mom and she would comfort me, but I don't need comfort. I just need acceptance. I need to be me. I need people to look at me and just see Naruto and not Naruto that bi kid.

It really is too complicated, but by the age of twenty-one I've finally decided to begin the process of letting everyone in…it's not like I have a choice any more. Someone has gained my attention.

He has arrived in my life and who am I to deny fate?

* * *

First stop. Ino. The best friend.

There was a little coffee shop close to the university that every college student stopped at regularly. In bright lights above the shop were the words A Cup of Joy. There were mahogany benches lined outside of it with bushes dotting the sides of them.

When you entered the shop a little bell rang out and you were instantly greeting by familiar faces. Many of the college students worked at the shop to make a little extra cash.

There were Indie paintings on the wall and a bulletin board that was full of fliers announcing activities, such as Art Show and Band Playing.

At the main counter there were glass cases filled with bakery goods. There was a huge menu on the wall behind it listing all of the beverages and their respected prices.

There were hanging lights above each table. Naruto picked his favorite one near one of the windows. It faced the street and you could see various students running around trying to make it to class on time.

He had ordered a grande mocha frappuccino and a plain bagel. His couldn't keep his hands still. He couldn't have been more nervous. He tried to take in some deep breaths and calm his nerves, but it wasn't helping.

His hands were starting to sweat and he wiped them on his pants repeatedly.

He wore a pair of jeans and his classic orange t-shirt. The shirt was form fitting and it sported his Uzumaki symbol on the front of it. His hair was extremely messy today because he couldn't stop running his hand through it.

He took one last breath when he saw a flash of blonde hair. He stood when she entered the shop and walked towards him.

She still wore her hair in a long ponytail with one piece hanging in front of her eyes. Today she was wearing a purple tank top and a white skirt. She had gold hoops at her earlobes.

"NARUTO!" she screamed as she wrapped her arms around her best friend. He sent her a cheesy smile and hugged her back.

"It hasn't been that long, Ino!"

She glared at him and knocked him on the head, "I haven't seen you all summer long you dope. You look taller!"

He sheepishly put a hand behind his head, "Yeah, I guess so."

They both sat down and after Ino ordered and received her cup of tea and scone she turned to him.

"So, what's really going on?"

He sent her a blank look.

"Don't give me that look, Naruto. You call me up out of the blue and you sound nervous. Then when I came in the shop today you were practically pacing around the table. This means one thing…you want to admit a secret! Tell me it's a juicy one."

He laughed a bit at her description, "Okay. Here's the thing. You know how I interned all summer at Uchiha Family, Attorneys at Law?"

"How could I forget? Those Uchiha men are HOT as hell. Too bad I had to go work at my family's flower shop this summer. I would have dropped in on you on a regular basis to catch a glimpse at them. Lucky bastard," she added with a grumble.

Naruto took a sip of his frappuccino, "Well, I kinda of met someone there."

"Met someone there…" she said thoughtfully, "Like you are dating someone?"

"Yeah."

"Aw! Naruto! Why were you so nervous then? Is she cute? How long have you been dating? How did you meet? What does she look like? Does she go to our school? Come on! Spill!" she said excitedly. She was practically jumping for joy. Her best friend rarely dated and when he did the relationships never lasted very long.

Naruto played with the cup a bit. He just didn't know how to word it. He had practiced all morning long, but he still didn't know how to go around explaining to her that he was going out with a guy.

He decided to start off really general like. "Well…we met at the firm."

"Seriously, Naruto. That is all you're going to give me? Is the relationship hush hush? Is it a secret or something? Does she have a really rich family that doesn't approve of you? Those bastards!" she shouted as she slammed her hands on the table.

Naruto ignored the weird looks that they were getting.

"Ino. No, I mean…he does have a rich family, but they like me a lot," he said trying to calm her down.

"Can you back up a little? I'm confused." Her face had fell a bit, but it was filled with shock and not repulsion.

He watched her face steadily before repeating, "He has a rich family."

She bit her lip and took a sip of her tea. She was nodding her head slowly. She was silently debating within herself. "Okay. Wow. Just okay. I'm trying to take all of this in."

Naruto looked down and played with his bagel. The silence was killing him. He really wanted to know what she thought.

"So, what does this mean? You're gay now?"

She didn't say it with malice. She was just seriously curious. There was no hatred or disgust in her voice. She didn't sound angry or betrayed. Naruto blew out a breath that he hadn't realized he had been holding.

"I'm bi actually and Ino…I just want to let you know that I wasn't trying to hide this from you. I just really had to figure this out myself. I just…this is all new to me, you know?"

"Okay," she paused and took another breath, "Okay. Start from the beginning. Let's take this one step at a time. Did you always know?"

"I think I've always known, but I just buried it deep within myself. Denied it. It was only until last year that I really started admitting it to myself out loud. I didn't think I should mention it because it really wasn't relevant until now."

"Because you've met someone?" Ino questioned. She was really trying to take all of this in. It's not like she cared if Naruto was straight, bi, gay or transsexual. He would always be her best friend no matter what. It was just a huge shock to the system.

It's not everyday that you find out your best friend is bi and in a seriously relationship with another man.

This was just so huge.

"Yeah. I've finally met someone and Ino. This is big for me. He…he is amazing."

Ino smiled. She had never seen her best friend so happy. His face had lit up and his smile was wider, if that was even possible. She watched his blue eyes shine brightly. If their had been any worries about his new sexuality they were now thrown out the window.

She smiled, "That is great. No seriously spill! Who is he? What does he look like? How hot is he?"

Naruto laughed. He shouldn't have been so worried. "You are really not going to believe this, but I'm dating Sasuke Uchiha."

Ino's eyes bulged out as she jumped up, "SASUKE FRICKIN UCHIHA!!!!!"

The whole shop turned around and looked at her strangely. Naruto grabbed her arm and pulled her down. He laughed loudly at her reaction.

"Oh my god! I'm seriously fucking jealous. Naruto! I mean!! I can't even talk anymore. I'm going to have a nosebleed thinking about you two together," her eyes glazed over with a dreamily look.

Naruto waved a hand in front of her face, "Earth to Ino!"

She shook her head, "Sorry, but can you blame me for spacing?! So hot. My best friend is dating the hottest man alive."

"I'm glad you approve."

"Approve? More like I'm bowing down in awe. I can't stand it. Tell me everything!"

"First of all, I will have you know that Sasuke is a major bastard."

"But a really hot one! I've heard rumors that he is an icy prick."

"The rumors would be correct."

"So…then how did you get through to him?? Because I also heard that he never dates, period. I mean he has never shown interest in anyone and he ignores the entire female population that throws themselves at him. I should know, I've totally been one of those girls."

"Well…it's not like he is interested in girls any way," Naruto said as he chuckled a bit, "But, even so…he rarely ever dates anyone. It's because of his nasty attitude problem. He doesn't really let anyone in."

"I guess if anyone could push pass his icy exterior it would be you, Naruto. So…how did you do it?"

"I punched him in the face," Naruto said in a matter of fact way.

"YOU WHAT?!" the blonde female shouted once again. The people in the shop continued to stare at them. They were use to Naruto's outbreaks, but Ino wasn't usually this loud.

"I can't get over this! You punched Sasuke Uchiha in the face?!"

"Yup, I sure did and that bastard deserved it."

"What happened next? How did he react?" She was practically on the edge of her seat.

"Well, he was stunned, of course. He wiped the blood off of his face and then told me to get out."

"And did you?"

"Of course not. I kissed the hell out of him."

Ino swooned. "I can't take this! I need a napkin. I'm seriously having a nose bleed."

"I then preceded to give him my number and told him to call me when he took that stick out of his ass."

"Naruto. You are too much. I can't handle this," she said while wiping the tears from her eyes. This was just too much.

They suddenly heard a honking noise outside of the window. Both blondes looked up and Naruto's face spread into a huge grin.

"Speaking of the bastard."

Ino's eyes widened. There was Sasuke Uchiha leaning against his black Benz wearing a black, tailored suit that looked like Armani.

Naruto leaned over and placed a kiss on Ino's cheek, "Sorry, Ino. I gotta go, but I will tell you the rest of it later, okay? And can you keep this on the down low for a little while? I want to tell the others myself."

She watched her best friend run out of the coffee shop. Naruto shouted something that sounded like "Hey bastard" and she watched as Sasuke's lips formed a small smile. It was gone in a second, but she had seen it.

Naruto brushed his hand against Sasuke's before opening the door and getting into the car.

Sasuke smirked, went around to the other side and got into the car.

"WHAT THE HELL!" she shouted, "Naruto! You lucky son of a gun!"

**A/N:** Hit that review button down below and tell me what you think! I hope it wasn't too bad. I've only published one other Naruto fic (Desperation)so…yeah. Should I continue? I think this fic is only going to be three or four chapters long.

The next chapter is "Step Two. The Gang."


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